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rhymes with "papaya"
21 June 2009 @ 05:11 pm
I took my grandmother's thimble. She's dead, so it's not like she's going to miss it; no one else but her used her sewing bowl, so I figured there wasn't any harm, and I needed one, anyway. I felt a little guilty, even so, and briefly considered taking the Monopoly thimble token instead -- would it fit on my finger? It might work just as well -- but decided that was silly.
rhymes with "papaya"
13 June 2009 @ 12:36 pm
Friends cut. I only really cut people who don't seem to have updated in quite a long time. If I've made a terrible mistake, let me know.
rhymes with "papaya"
12 June 2009 @ 07:56 pm
I go back and forth between deciding to be more social and deciding to be less social. But I suppose either is an artificiality, and I should just let things be.

I got a job as a part-time cashier at Johnny Rockets. The hours are awful: Thursday through Sunday evenings. Oh, well. A job's a job, right?
rhymes with "papaya"
18 May 2009 @ 10:17 pm



Spent most of today cleaning, again. The "living room" is nearly done. I like it better without a TV, I think. I'm glad it broke. I just can't for the life of me figure out where to put anything. I'm considering building furniture (tables etc.) out of books just to save space. Except of course when I actually needed a book, which is the point of having them, I'd have to disassemble the whole thing.

I want to cut my hair again. I know it's becoming kind of a disease, but I honestly can't stop this obsession with getting new haircuts. Probably it's all in my head, but part of me still thinks, secretly (or maybe not so secretly), that my hair's just been framing my face badly my whole life, and that I might just get it right this time. Or something like that.

Today I went in to the city to try to get a job with NYPIRG. The hours are 2 pm to 10 pm (major drawback). The job is essentially going out and talking to people, and their pay system pays you more for every person you get donations from / get to become a member. That kind of monetary carrot has always rubbed me the wrong way, and I don't know why. Probably it's because if every one-on-one interaction can potentially bring you immediate material benefits, that renders that one-on-one interaction so much more false. But then again, even if everyone were paid equally no matter how many people they ended up converting, every one-on-one interaction would only happen because you were hired to go out and do that, anyway. Often when it comes to morality, I can't actually articulate what it is that bothers me, and when I try to do so anyway, it doesn't hold up logically. More and more, though, I'm starting to trust that queasy feeling. Ethics are mental. Morals are instinctual. I think.
rhymes with "papaya"
16 May 2009 @ 11:42 pm

finals are OVER
all work is OVER

things I can now do:
read books
write letters
watch movies
go places

rhymes with "papaya"
12 May 2009 @ 02:27 pm
Things are looking up. Ish. I think what happened is that last week I kind of hit rock bottom, and there's really nowhere else to go but up. Which is a good thing. Humans are infinitely adaptable. Time marches on, et cetera, et cetera. Or: I'm a lot more content than I've been lately. I don't even really want to go home right now.

On the other hand, this could also be a bad sign. It's entirely possible that I've been so cheerful lately because I've been rebuilding all of my stupid fantasies, intellectual and personal, that were ripped to shreds the week before. I don't know. I guess if it keeps me happy?
rhymes with "papaya"
05 May 2009 @ 12:47 pm
Pull yourself the fuck together.
rhymes with "papaya"
10 March 2009 @ 10:03 pm
The temptation to build my identity around a place is too strong. I'm going to end up moving from city to city to city, always convinced that the next one will solve everything.

All in all, New York is pretty rad. I do love it. I love it so much it hurts sometimes, as ridiculous as it sounds to say something like that about a city. But as soon as I relax, I start thinking about all of the possible alternate lives in all of the other cities, all of the existences that I'm missing.
rhymes with "papaya"
09 March 2009 @ 09:01 am
things I hate:
heavy luggage
that one fucking MGMT song god damn

things I like:
saving vikings
rhymes with "papaya"
16 February 2009 @ 04:48 pm
War and Peace: still large.